Developing self-advocacy skills in your son/daughter and letting go

“Self-advocacy means understanding and seeking support for one’s personal rights.”¹ Teens and young adults who are deaf or hard of hearing may have difficulty with self-advocacy for a variety of reasons. One of the main reasons is that people with hearing loss are at a disadvantage because of communication barriers related to not hearing. If a person has difficulty listening, he or she may be apprehensive about sharing their misunderstandings or confusion with people that they do not know. If a teen or young adult uses sign language to communicate, they may be in situations where the other person does not know sign language and an interpreter is not available. People with hearing loss may also exhibit anxiety in social situations due to a difficulty or inability to “overhear” conversations. Literature in developmental psychology tells us that about 90% of what very young children learn about the world they learn “incidentally” or passively, just be overhearing communication around them. “Incidental learning is not just about knowledge, it is about overhearing to facilitate social/cognitive development.”²

Professionals working with teens and young adults with hearing loss understand the struggles associated with hearing loss. Social/emotional problems, lower reading and writing skills, frustration and anger related to communication barriers, social isolation, and increased self-consciousness are all issues that may develop. As parents, you experience these same struggles though often differently. If your son/daughter is dealing with any or all of these problems, the ability to advocate for oneself is compromised. If she/he is not able to work through these issues on their own, you should recommend that a counselor, or other mental health professional, be available to address the problems and to promote healthy social/emotional development.

Once your son/daughter has a relatively healthy acceptance of his/her hearing loss, the basic foundation for beginning self-advocacy is in place. With some essential tools and support, the foundation can grow so that he/she is informed and confident about taking care of his/her own communication accommodations. GAP provides teens/young adults a framework for building these skills.

Letting Go…

Every parent has a different perspective on the development of their son/daughter as well as their own values for parenting. When additional challenges are present, there is often an inclination to be more protective than usual. However, developing the ability to advocate for oneself is one of the most important skills to be responsible and independent as an adult. The advantage of parenting is that parents can guide their children through the various challenges they face, allowing them to experience success and even failure. When failure occurs, parents are able to discuss the situations and options for dealing with difficult situations. The letting go process should begin early and occur gradually. Responsibilities should be given to children based on what they can do, with increasing responsibility as they are older and able to do more. Management of one’s hearing technology is a perfect example of how these skills evolve. Review the self-advocacy competencies chart to see your son/daughter’s level. Should they be more independent? What more can you do to develop their independence and self-advocacy skills? Letting go is a celebration of what your son/daughter has learned from you. Celebrate!


¹ English.K. (1997). Self-Advocacy for Students who are Deaf or Hard of Hearing. Austin, Texas: Pro-Ed.

 ²Flexer, C. (2009, May). Theory of Mind Development in Children with Hearing Loss. Presentation at Building Bridges
  Conference. Cincinnati, OH.

Personal profile and accommodations letter

One tool of GAP is the Personal Profile and Accommodations Letter. This interactive document is intended to describe:

                               • the person (teen or young adult),

                               • a statement about his/her hearing loss,

                               • the person’s communication preferences, and

                               • how the person uses technology.

The Personal Profile and Accommodations Letter is structured with questions that your son/daughter answers. The answers then populate a letter that can be printed. This letter should be shared with pertinent persons in your son/daughter’s circle - teachers, friends, his/her employer if applicable, college support staff and faculty, or anyone else with whom they may interact. Other important information regarding information others should know to facilitate more effective communication may be added.

Encourage your son/daughter to complete and use this letter. If the document cannot be completed independently, you and the professionals involved with your son/daughter can help. If your son/daughter needs to learn or review information from the self-advocacy competencies or other part of this program, you can help guide them.     

Self-advocacy competency guide

The Self-Advocacy Competency Guide in this section is intended to encourage the development of personal responsibility and self-advocacy skills as early as possible, long before the teenage years. In general expectations should be no different from a person without a hearing loss. Transition is an on-going process. not an event that occurs with graduation. Parent support, in collaboration with professionals, is important to assist teens/young adults to gain the knowledge about their learning and communication access needs and to develop skills to accommodate them.

 This guide provides suggested school levels (elementary, middle school, high school, and post-secondary) by when the skills in the teen/young adult Self-Advocacy Checklist (located in the Self-Advocacy tab) should be learned. The Self-Advocacy Checklist is organized on just two levels: teens and young adults. When your son/daughter completes this checklist, a list of skills that still need to be learned is generated. You can work with your son/daughter, along with the any professionals that are involved, to identify the IEP goals and objectives needed to achieve these skills. If your son/daughter is age 16, these should be addressed in the IEP Transition Plan. If your son/daughter has graduated from high school, these can be addressed in the GAP Self-Assessment Planner.

More information on these topics:

Many resources are available to assist parents in acquiring the background knowledge necessary to support the areas in the guide. One resource is a book, Demystifying Hearing Assistance Technology, A Guide for Service Providers and Consumers (2007) by C. Davis, S. Atcherson, and M. Johnson. This material was written for PEPNet, a program funded by the U.S. Department of Education, Office of Special Education and Rehabilitation Services. The websites listed in the resource section of this program links to additional organizations that have informative materials.